The Dark Side of the Force

[Photo Credit: Cherry Laithang on Unsplash]

When I was a child, perhaps five or six years-old, I saw an apparition. I woke up in the middle of the night for no reason. My older brother was asleep in his bed and the room was pitch black, with the exception of the glow-in-the-dark plaque that hung on the wall at the foot of our beds. It had been a gift from my Sunday School, a luminescent painting of Jesus the Good Shepherd. He carried a staff in one hand and cradled a lamb in the other. Beneath, in Day-Glo letters, were with the words: "The Lord is my Shepherd."

As I lay awake that night, I gazed upon that reassuring reminder that God is our light in the darkness, finding us when we're lost and carrying us home. Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, his rod and his staff, they comfort me; I fear no evil, for God is with me (from Psalm 23). Or not. Because suddenly, the silhouette of a hand passed in front of that plaque, blocking its dim emission of light. My body went rigid at the sight and I was rendered mute, barely able to breathe. I don't know how long the hand remained there, because I squeezed my eyes shut and didn't open them again until morning.

This solitary experience might easily have been explained away. I was a child. I was half asleep. I was "seeing things." Except that, on Halloween night, my brother saw it too. My mother had dressed him up as a hobo for trick-or-treating, applying her eyebrow pencil to his chin and cheeks for whiskers. He looked at himself in the mirror and didn't like what he saw. He said it was stupid and smeared the stubble off his face with the back of his sleeve. Then he stomped off to the nearest room, my parents' bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Inspired by a little bedevilment of my own, I opened the door, reached in, turned off the lights, and closed the door again, abandoning him to the darkness. A few moments later, he let out a blood-chilling scream. We all rushed in. He was sitting on the floor on the far side of the bed, his face ashen. A hand had passed in from of his eyes in the dark.

And then there was the sunny Sunday morning when I was awakened by a hand taking hold of my ankle through the blankets. I expected to see one of my parents, but no one was there. From that day on, I slept with my legs drawn up against my chest, in a foetal position, even after we'd moved away from that house. It's a miracle my body didn't grow up deformed, sleeping that way; instead, it was my mind that was bent out of shape by those frightening experiences. What was happening? Was someone literally reaching through from another realm? But for what purpose? To make contact? To seek help? Or just to scare the living daylights out of a little boy and his brother? I didn't have the answers then.

Part of my interest in starting The Mystic Cave podcast, exploring "the spiritual terrain on the far side of conventional religion," was the paranormal. The church discourages its members from going there. But, as a priest, I heard enough stories from my parishioners--of ghosts, of weird energies, of visions--to know that they were indeed going there, but without whatever help and guidance the church might have provided them. The spiritual realms exist, and spiritual beings exist within those realms. They're part of life, albeit a part we shut out, closing our eyes tightly. It would be so much wiser to learn about them, both the dark realms and the light, so we won't be alarmed when something or someone tries to break through.

That's why I assembled a panel of trusted spiritual guides, to help unravel the mysteries of the dark side of the spiritual life. I have worked personally with each one, and all have been on the podcast before. Jan Thompson is a Reiki Master who accesses the energy of the universal life force. Jane Fleming is a Spiritualist minister who communes with the spirits of the dead. Wade Prpich is a shaman who visits the upper and lower spiritual realms and the beings who dwell there. All three are dedicated to healing and wholeness, but each has seen enough to know about the other, darker, possibilities as well, and the importance of our intention, to stay on the sunny side.

I still don't know the truth behind that hand. But I've learned a few things along the way. I no longer sleep with my feet all tucked up. When I wake in the middle of the night, I now half expect to see someone or something appearing in the darkness, good or bad. I am more curious than frightened and I wonder, if someone does show up, how I might make the most of the moment by asking them who they are and what they want. And should they turn malevolent, I'm prepared to banish them from my presence, as is both my right and my power. All the things a frightened little boy didn't know then, that's what I know now.

To listen to my conversation with Jan, Jane, and Wade, just click on the Play button below. To learn more about the healing work of each of my guests, follow the More Info link to the show notes.